Standing the Mast, Rocking the Boat, Being Hormonal

I reorganized my desk today. A few things have changed. Due to their lack of use, lube and condoms are now located in a filing cabinet behind the taxes, adjacent to old bills, police reports and anything else that I have no connection with. Should I seek their wonders through the clouds of dust from both, I’ll be pleasantly surprised by neither. Filing away my sexuality for the sake of success. Ah, look at me go. I set aside any photo reminding me of what I need to be reminded of. What might leave me soon, what just arrived, that has yet to arrive. I’ve disposed of the broken phones, whatever it was that propelling behind their various stages of demise and my desire to hang onto their keys. (whatcouldevercompelme. to go there) My clock is off my desk and at my bedside so that I merely have to split my sockets to continue the countdown.

I gave up my seat on the bus today. It wasn’t for you. But it could have been. Particularly if you were wearing heels. Irreverent , I stood, like a fish clocking 80 wetland bound. I will stare you into the distance of the bass-ridden goodbye as you should have put it together by now. Braeek.

Move Me Last

I’m pretty sure the guy in the room next to me slept with his waitress earlier this morning somewhere in whatever a Boudreaux looks like. I glanced through your blog today and got vain. At that moment a hair fell from my head reminding me not to. give a. fuck.

I have scraped the scorpion from the urn where my concession flows and silence bends you dangling in my cartesian as the one I should let get away. But I didn't.

I am neither nice, nor easy.
For some flame
I will be neither here nor there.
as I have come
to praise the woman
who can raise this man from
his grief of home with
the spirits of my bedside
fog inseparable from specter.

My first girlfriend is now engaged.
My best friend is now engaged.
I celebrate
pouring future games
into soil
composting potential
memory.
To new lives.

For the first time
in two years
I prayed.
--For you.
but for the benefit of me
never lead again.

I will be there in due time.

When I met you I did not stop to fathom the missing. I did not drink the dregs of the drink I would never order. I stopped myself from memorizing your eye color and from guessing your mother’s features from your father’s. I started the systematic erasure of anything that could potentially be everything.